Lea: Allegations on Riley a part of a larger, disturbing trend

By Chris Lea, WRAL-TV sports anchor/reporter

Today the NC Courage fired head coach Paul Riley. Riley was accused of sexual misconduct from former players from teams he coached in the past according to a report from 'The Athletic'.

The news is saddening, disappointing and sickening if these allegations levied against Riley are true. But I'm not here to write about Riley, what should happen to him or anything about this incident specifically. It's not lost on me that this news comes out in the same week that R&B singer R. Kelly was found guilty on all of his charges stemming from his own sexual misconduct that numerous women and some men have accused them of. All of this made me think about many women close to me. Women in my family, women I'm friends with and women I used to date.

By the time I had gotten to my junior year in college I noticed a pattern with a lot of the women who were close to me. Many were either sexually molested or raped and felt safe enough to share their stories with me.

One friend was raped by her father.

A former girlfriend was once molested by an older cousin.

Another friend was touched inappropriately by an uncle.

I even remember my mom sharing stories about women from my own family who have also gone through similar situations.

All of these incidents have a similar theme. Young women being taken advantage of by a man who has some sort of power over them, which was used to ultimately keep these women quiet. They may tell friends, they may tell family members, but they're quiet from coming forward with their story to folks that matter. The folks that matter being friends or family members close enough to the situation who can do something about it and also the authorities.

It was heartbreaking to hear all of these stories from women I care deeply about. In all these cases, years had passed since these incidents had happened and they finally felt comfortable to just purge after feeling muzzled for so long.

In the case of my friend who's uncle touched her, I asked her why she never said anything to her mom, aunts or cousins. It broke my heart when she said it was because of his status in the community and among the family and that she knew deep down inside no one would believe her or they will blame her for the incident. So she's stewed over this for years, letting it eat at her, like so many other women with similar stories.

Today's news just continues to prove how much further we have to go as a society. We don't believe women enough and we don't protect women enough. No one should have to be ashamed to report sexual misconduct against them for fear of retaliation, loss of income, loss of friends or loss of community.

There's nothing scientific about this, but it seems like half of the women I'm close to all have a story. If that's true for me, that has to be true for most people who are reading this. So I want to challenge men out there: we have to do better by our women. Believe them. Listen to them. Help them.

I know there will be someone to come into my inbox to reply, "What about the women who lie to get what they want!?" Yes, that happens. But what happens even more than that is women being silenced from revealing real sexual misconduct. I don't want my daughter to grow up in a world where she has to suffer in silence because she's afraid of not being believed or being blamed for being a victim of this cruel behavior. You shouldn't want your daughter, sister or whomever to live in that type of world either. It starts with us. it starts with taking these allegations seriously from the time they're levied.

As far Paul Riley is concerned, I have no idea if these allegations are true. But I hope for the sake of the women who came forward with these allegations that they find the healing necessary so they can move on with their lives without that dark cloud hanging over them.

And I hope there are men in their lives - real men - to help give them that support.